To Our Surrogates,
We know how important it is to have your partner’s support throughout this journey. If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re thinking, “I wish they understood what this experience is like for both of us.” So this letter is for them—with love, encouragement, and appreciation for the role they play. Feel free to forward it, print it, or even leave it on the kitchen counter. Sometimes, a heartfelt note can open the door to the conversations that matter most.
Dear Partner,
First and foremost, thank you.
Thank you for being by her side as she embarks on one of the most selfless and life-changing journeys there is—helping create a family for someone else. Surrogacy is filled with emotion, growth, and complexity, and your support through it all is more valuable than you may even realize.
If your wife is carrying a child for another family, it’s natural to feel a wide mix of emotions—pride, uncertainty, joy, even fear. You’re not alone in that. This journey affects both of you, and your presence, patience, and love play a huge role in her experience.
That’s why we wanted to take a moment to offer some thoughts—not instructions, not rules, just gentle reminders—as you walk this path together.
Keep Talking, Keep Listening
Surrogacy brings about constant change—hormonally, emotionally, and physically. Some days she might feel strong and confident, others she may feel anxious or exhausted. And you might feel all of that, too. That’s okay. What matters most is that you stay connected through open, honest communication.
Set aside regular time to check in with each other. Even a quick, “How are you really feeling today?” can go a long way. Let her share, and when you’re ready, share your own feelings, too. Vulnerability is a strength—not a weakness—and it helps create a deeper connection.
And when she’s struggling, don’t feel pressure to fix it all. Just listen. Let her know she’s heard. That in itself is incredibly powerful.
Support Comes in Many Forms
Being supportive doesn’t always look like grand gestures. Often, it’s in the little things—making her tea when she’s tired, helping with laundry when her body aches, attending an appointment even if you don’t quite know what to expect.
She may not always ask for help, but your proactive kindness will speak volumes.
Celebrate milestones together—like the first heartbeat, or a check-in that goes well. These shared moments will become part of your unique story together. And don’t be afraid to build a connection with the intended parents, too. When you share in their joy, it makes the journey even more meaningful.
Remember to Take Care of You, Too
You’re showing up in a big way for someone you love—and that takes energy. So don’t forget to check in with yourself, too. Make space for your own feelings. Rest when you need to. Lean on friends, family, or even support groups. You can’t pour from an empty cup—and your well-being matters just as much.
This Journey Will Change You—In the Best Way
Surrogacy is not just transformative for the person carrying the baby. It’s powerful for both of you. You’ll witness strength and compassion in new ways. You’ll grow closer through shared challenges. And you’ll come out the other side more connected, more resilient, and more proud of what you’ve done—together.
So again, thank you. Thank you for showing up, for being steady, for choosing love and partnership through this truly unique experience.
You’re making more of a difference than you know.
With gratitude,
The Village Surrogacy Team
Curious about a surrogacy journey with us? Click to learn more.
